Category: Dating and Relationships
if you have love someone who you know thats the age gap there, do you think that you both can manage till last? what if that party told you that he or she is afraid about how your friends and family look at you who's loving someone who's having age gap with you?
Personally, I think age isn't too big of deal, but that's just me.
Age matters. Take your age, devide by two, ignore any fractional part, then add 7 that's the youngest you should go out with.
aah Jared, formula only works within a certain range though, if your age is x then x divided by 2 + 7 must be >= 18 meaning you must be over 22 for this to apply I thik there is probably an upper range too but at that point it's up to the individuals to decide. I think generally the lesser of this forumula or 10 years should be the norm. Age will always be an influence on a relationship, that's for sure, it may not tear it apart but it'll always affect it, just like anything else in a relationship.l
cheers
-B
It depends on the people. It's more a question of maturity than age. For example, there's no way you'll have a 30 year old who can match a 50 year old in maturity and life experience, there ways of thinking would be too different. Besides, in my opinion that would be revolting. However, some people find that as little as 3 years is too much, while others date much older and younger. As long as both people are willing to work around the difficulties that might present themselves, and they really do care for each other, it's all good.
But wildebrew your wrong, for example 14/2=7 7+7=14 so 14 year olds shouldn't really go out with anyone younger then themselves, 16/2+7=15 so 16 year olds go out with 15 year olds, int(19/2)+7=16, so the formula works as long as your 14 or older.
Well it depends. If the age gap is too big it gets a little complicated. But even then ... I mean sure you do listen to what your friends say, but it is your choise. And if it#s real life, then, in my opinion, age doesn't matter.
I don't think age is a big issue, unless it's legal or not. Like, my younger brother is 18, but his girlfriend is 15. They are both on the same wavelength as far as maturity, but that kind of age gap could lead to problems. Just because she's a minor still, and her parents could press charges if they wanted to. I think that's unfair, but oh well.
I'm in 100 percent agreement with Jared on this one! The formula makes perfect sense!
Well cinderella that's why I'll never date a minor because of all that unfair pressure I could face. I'll date 18 or older because then they are legal and I don't have to worry about being in deep shit in the long run. However if your a risk taker and want to date a minor then that's your choice.
That formula was interesting. As for me personally, I think I'd prefer my partner (well, my husband), to be older than me, but that's just because it would just seem weird for me the other way around. But I wouldn't not date or marry someone just because they were younger than me. I don't know. But actually, I think it's more that I would want my guy to be mature. So that is a big thing for me. But I would think that, for me, I couldn't see myself with anyone 5 or more years younger or between 5 and 10 years older than me. Definitely no more younger or older.
age does not matter as long as the communication stays strong. Also you need to make sure you both can work out the issues that obviously will arise.
hmm, interesting formular. never thought of age gap can become a formular lol.
So.... If I'm a hundred, I shouldn't date anyone below 57? Damn. So much for rich old men with pretty young girls.
lol Kai, it reminds me a recent news that happened in Malaysia. a 104 female married with 24 male... the 21st marage for that old lady and the 4th marage for the boy.
interesting formula jared, *grins*.
But yes, age matters. Not so much in terms of a few years, obviously when you're younger a few years can make a difference in terms of maturity, but as you get older that's not so much of an issue any more. but as you get older there are other things that need to be taken into consideration. If you marry a guy who is 30 years older than you then you know that chances are that he's gunna die 30 years before you as well and then you're going to be left widdowed and on your own. I also think that the dinamic of such a relationship is often different, someone who is so much older can be seen as a father figure rather than a partner, if you have children they have a father who is old enough to be their grandfather and will likely be seen as such in the school playground and at the school gates.
I also think that if you're going out with someone who is classed a minor it's not an issue as long as you're aware she's a minor and that there are implications if you want to take the relationship further on a physical level. When I was 14 I went out with a guy who was 3 years older than me, he was lovely and the first guy I cried over, I consider I was mature at 14 and we got on well and are still friends but there was nothing illegal. Equaly when I was 16 I went out with a guy 5 years older than me although in the maturity steaks he was on my level.
Oh Jared, I was just assuming the legal complexities of "taking things to the next level" which, of course, is not a prerequisite for a relationship, hence the x/2 +7 = 18 limit. There may be issues for that particular activity when one person is over 18 and the other one isn't, if both are under 18, yes, the formula would hold.
ah but in this country the age of consent is 16, thought that was the case in the US as well?
SB, nope, 18, strictly ;) not that you'd ever have to worry bout that, neither do I, but for British tourists that might be something they should know <grin>.
yes, it's kind of a state to state thing, most people think it's 17 but that's only if your partner is with in 3 years of you being 17. any older and you can get nailed. 104 and 24? you must be joking, That's something we probably don't want to think about very long! Jerid looks like I am stuck with the 47 year olds when I am 80.
As far as I'm concerned, age to me really doesn't matter. age of concent here in Canada, is 14.
In michigan age of consent is 16 it all depends on where you are.
in missouri, If you're over 14 and your partner is over 21, it's a no no.
yes, 104 with 24. at first, while when i heard the news i was like my friend trying to joke with me. but when i read about that particular news, its so damn real. and, another case that happen in 2004 in China, a 82 male doctored professor, married with his 28 female student. its shock the whole media in asia though. and the interesting thing is this professor won the Nobell Prize for Phisic years back.
Wow. That is crazy. I couldn't imagine marrying someone old enough to be my father or grandpa. I know someone who is married to someone who is a little over 30 years older, which would make that person a little older than my parents. I always think, if it were me, that that would be too weird to have to live with knowing that. Also, the younger person would have to consider that most older people tend to have health promblems because of their age, so the younger partner would eventually need to start taking care of the older one in some cases.
I agree of course, it#s hard to date minors sometimes, but to me, it's a matter of maturity and I don't really care what others say unless my partner cares.
It depends on many things like, the type of relationship, the personality of both partners and how well they are communicating with each other. If all issues are tackled and dealt with and if everything is discussed right away, it can probably work. Just be careful and first find out if it wasn't just some great adventure. As for family and friends, they can always give advice, but can never manipulate or brake what you already have. I think honesty and love is probably the most important thing and with this, you can accomplish a lot. I am not sure how great the age gap is between you and your partner, but from your letter, I assume he may be much older. I was in the same situation once and can really understand how you may feel and my advice to you is move slowly, always communicate all your feelings and be yourself with a much louder voice when you have to.
Agreed, Adrijana.
I think age matters to an extnet. Like for example, I'd probably only date someone in their 20's but will not go above.
Troy
I think in a couple of ways age matters. For one, I personally, would not date anyone who was a minor because of the risk taht could be involved. Also, I in general don't like dating people younger than me, I'd much rather date someone older than me, with that being said however, I'd only go up to 20 years older than me, I know, it's a little much, but yeah. I like older men, I guess.
hmm agree on everyone here. age is really a matter so do maturity. if a man who's 40s or 50s, but act like 20s, its really anoying but yet of course don't go after someone who's 20 years older or 30 years older. not that is imporsible, but then, lots of problems will happen deal to the age gap.
as for myself, i will rather go for someone older than someone who's younger than me. i don't want to have kinda of feeling who's dating my younger brother though. big grin. i guess, this apply to most of the ladies? cheers
Its not age that matters, age is a number. Its matturity. Now, age does matter if you want a fuck partner. Because a 12 and a 18 year old just isn't going to cut it. Way to many risks, but if you love someone. Want a lasting relationship, not just a quick fuck. And both partners understand and are ok with the problems that could accur, and both partners think they can handle it. then go for it!
Personaly I wouldn't date somebody 10 years older than me. Saying that, I have had crushes on older men but that is all. I have also seen some young mature boys at 16 but I wouldn't date them. He would have to be at least the same age or up to 5 years older.
they say (and I agree) that, it only seems to matter if say, anyone below the age of 18 hooks up with someone at least five years older! but over the age of 18, I don't think age difference really matters unless, say it's more than fifteen years apart. I mean I've known of people in that situation who are very happy but it seems a little weird to me!
hi i think the person who said it's not age that matters it's matuirty does have a point.. all i can think of as an example is scott and rachel from neighbours as rachel is 14 and scott is 18 but rachel acts like 18 and is lovely and very mature.
however, for me, age does matter if i didn't know someone... would never go outwith anyone under 20 i don't think, believe guys under that age are, (sorry for the gernealisation but hey its coss of how i've been treated), believe they're all imeture and will probably cheat or tell things about you to teir mates you wouldn't wanna be told, and it wouldn't last! and i figure that, if i go out with a guy who's 22, he's probably got about the mental age of 20 as guys are 2 years behind girls in maturity, though they do catch up probably a bit earlier than that.
lol i'm not that harsh really i've seen loads of lovely guys who are my age and youner, but also some guys who aren't... but i'm afraid of any who are younger that i don't know. like if they're 18 or younger. i'd be afraid of starting something with them but i'd have to know someone well anyway so yeah.. and now i'm so tired i'm ranting ridiculous crap! sorry all!
age is only a number... I've dated guys my own age or a few years younger and they've acted retarded with the jealously b.s. and the trust issues and possessiveness.. and for once I'm dating a guy that's almost 10 years younger than me and he's way more mature than they ever were... yeah, sure, what guy doesn't have his moment when he's out with his friends and you think you don't matter cause he's paying more attention to what's going on around him than he is to you.. but that's normal in any relationship so it's all good.. besides he most always finds a way to make up for it in the end.. even if he doesn't ever realize that he "kind of" hurt you.
Lol neighbours being my fave show, I had to reply to that! Lol I do agree, scott and rachel were a cute couple (oh oh I believe I've spoilt it for our poor English friends who get the eppisodes later. don't kill me; I'm sorry. :)
Well, I can see some pretty big problems with older guys and younger girls to be honest. It isn't a question of the age thing, it's a question about the different life points.
For example, take a guy who's say, 27 or so, been to college, done all the partying etc, and they've started to want different, deeper things, a nice home, a decent job, a family. And he's seeing a lovely, mature but young girl, say 18. There's a problem right away.
If that girl has aspirations of going to college herself, partying, having the tipicle student life, getting a degree and working towards starting a career, she just isn't at the same life point as her older partner is she. I mean, she isn't going to want to do all that hard work in college, graduate and then go strait on to making babies necessarily is she. I mean, most of the younger girls I know want to put their education to some use before they even consider children! But what about her poor partner! He's likely to be pushing 32, maybe even 33 depending on what kind of college course the girl does, a masters for example, and he is going to have certain expectations right?
OK, I've waited patiently for 5 years while you studdied, but now I really want a family! Otherwise if we wait another 5 years while you get your career off the ground, I'm going to be over 50 by the time the kids are in their teens!
I think it's maybe easy to get into a younger/older relationship, but I can see major problems occuring as a result.
It may not be so bad if the girl doesn't want college and all that, and all she's ever wanted is a lil family and a loving husband etc etc, but these days, how often does that realistically happen?
And I don't think anyone is to blame for the above situation either, it's a symptom of the situation itself. It is totally not unreasonable for the guy pushing 30 to be wanting a family, and it is totally not unreasonable for the 18/19 year old college student who has a thing for older guys, to want an education, a career, to try new things etc. No one is at fault, there isn't really a sensible comprimise because both of you are completely within your rights to want what you want, given your life-points etc. There isn't really an answer.
Now, if the younger partner has already done with education, things suddenly become a whole lot easier. There are no more ties for example, OK maybe your current job keeps you from moving, but switching jobs is usually much easier than say, moving from college in America, to a University over here in the UK. I mean, if you are a qualified school teacher and working in the US and you fall hopelessly in love with a sexy Brit, you would be a qualified teacher over here too! No problem! But, if you are still an undergraduate in the US, you can at least get funding there to continue with your studdies. If you fell hopelessly in love with a hot Brit and moved here, you would have to put your education on hold for at least 3 years if you wanted funding for it, and that would be assuming the British government would even let you remain here ultimately. If you said to the American government, hey! I've fallen in love with a Brit and I want to move there and be with him and I want you to continue to fund my education while I'm there, they'd laugh at you! And the British government would laugh at you as well, until you have the right to public funds here in the UK, and you have to be naturalised for that to be the case, which takes 3 years at least.
I think the age thing is a massive issue if there is a distance component involved for certain, and I also think it is an issue, although perhaps a little easier to work around if you live close enough that you can live together and so forth at least.
I would suggest seriously though, that if one of you is still in college and the other is looking for a family situation iminently, then you should drop the whole idea before one or other of you gets really hurt. One of you has to give in in a situation like that, there is no middle ground really, and the one who gives in will always hold it against you as a weapon in future confrontations.
Well, I wouldn't be so bored, and therefore wouldn't have slept with the gardener if you had been prepared to let me finish my education so I could get a decent job to keep me occupied! You only had to wait another few years for your family you selfish bastard!
Well, if you hadn't had to make me wait for my family perhaps the kids wouldn't be so embarased about having a father who's in his 50's and can't join in the really physical activities like all the other younger, fitter dads etc.
Matt
Wow. Um. I don't really feel there's much more to be said after reading Matt's post. I do agree completely, but at the same time, such things can be worked around. Yes, it is very complicated, and I've said before that with that much of a gap, the two are at different points in their lives and may not be compatible at all, but then, maybe they are. It's not always the case that one will feel bitter for having to compromise what they want. Very likely, yes, but not definite. Bottom line: If you really want something, and I mean really want it, not just think it might be nice, you'll work it out.
If the age gap is not so huge, but only a few years, I don't think it much matters. I've always gone for guys quite a bit older than myself, because, well, guys my age are typically idiots. Not always, but typically. Again, it comes down to how much you want it, how willing you are to work through the difficulties, and how compatible you really are.
No as long as they share values. And if the other party has a problem has a problem with the age difference, it's their right.